Closer

I went to church this morning and during the "worship" set, the band played an arrangement that combines "Deliver Me" by David Crowder Band and then "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie. It was beautiful. Something really resonated within me and the lyrics became mine. (Not to mention that Transatlanticsm is a kick arse song musically speaking.)

So, this afternoon I downloaded both songs and put them on my iPod so I could listen to them while I walked. Walks have become something of a refuge for me. I do a lot of thinking and praying during my walks. No other songs made it into the playlist for my walk. I kept backing them up and listening to them over and over. Something was stirring within. While Transatlanticism played in my ears, I found myself wiping tears away and sniffling (hoping other walkers wouldn't notice) and praying to God, "I need you so much closer. So Come on." Here are some of the lyrics from the song:

The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer

So come on, come on
So come on, come on.

I know this song is about a human relationship, but for me the song is easily translated to the relationship to Christ that someof us struggle with from time to time. Those of us who are believers know that every now and again we feel distance in that relationship. I know that my footstep's rhythm to Christ's door are not silenced forevermore and the distance to Him isn't insurmountable, but sometimes the steps towards Him aren't taken enough or even at all.

Interestingly enough, this morning when Bruce was preaching on anger, I found myself thinking that it offered me nothing. I kind of zoned out after awhile. Then this evening while I was walking, I started owning up to some of the anger and frustrations I have about situations in my life. The tears kept flowing. I need to know that he really does bind up the brokenhearted.

So, God, I need you so much closer.

Here are the lyrics from the other much repeated song:

Deliver me out of the sadness
Deliver me from all the madness
Deliver me courage to guide me
Deliver me Your strength inside me

CHORUS:
All of my life
I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like You
Now that You're here
Now that I've found You
I know that You're the One to pull me through

Deliver me loving and caring
Deliver me giving and sharing
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing

Oh, deliver me

Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Deliver me
Come and pull me through
Come pull me through

Enough said.

The night ended by having some good, encouraging conversations with friends. I'm blessed and I do know that He does pull us through the disappointments of life by bringing joy from unexpected places.

Here's a verse that a very good friend put in a card to me last week. Let this reside in your mind and let it penetrate your heart today:

"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17