Intentions

What are your intentions?

How's that for a broad question? I've been pondering this question since a conversation I had with a male friend recently. It's related to the age old question of "can a man and a woman really be friends?" I really believe it's possible -- only if there is a clear understanding of intentions. I'm more keenly aware of this after my convo with this friend.

It's true, at some point along the way, the convo will have to be had about "what's up between us?" and it's often times not had until too late. Someone has feelings and the other doesn't share the same feelings. So, someone ends up getting hurt. Most of the time, people have no idea how to handle these situations. People can be rude or indifferent.

So what do you do? Do you have the convo right of the gate after meeting someone? Like a kind of a pre-emptive strike thus avoiding any misunderstanding for confusion and risk having overreacted or making assumptions? (That was a ver long, run-on sentence I know.) I don't know the answer. I think it's different for each friendship. It really depends at where a person is in their journey.

I can tell you right now that clear communication is the key. For both people to know and understand the thinking of the other is truly beneficial. Sometimes a person just needs a friend and doesn't want any drama. And sometimes a person cares enough about the heart of the other to have the conversation so that both hearts are properly cared for. Here's the verse that keeps coming back to me:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23.

What a challenge!

This guy/girl friendship thing can be very sticky. I know that I have really good friendships with men, but some of tehm haven't been without confusion and misunderstandings along the way. Sometimes, time has to be taken away or awkward conversations have to take place. But in the end, most of the friendships have become a lot more solid.

I do think that everyone who has a friendship with the opposite sex has, at one time or another, asked themselves, "what if?" The challenge is to keep talking about it as awkward as it may be.

Getting back to intentions: I have to constantly evaluate what my intentions are. God really knows my heart and that it's not my intention to every manipulate a friendship with a guy to work it to my advantage (but sadly i'm sure I have done this).

To end on a positive note, I have had some really incrediblly fun times with my guy friends. Many of them are like brothers to me. They check in on me and want to know what's going on with me. They want to know what the Lord is doing in my life. They want to laugh with me and want me to be able to share my heart with them (as appropriate).

God has truly blessed me with wonderful friendship (both male and female).

So anyway, know your motives. Be aware of your intentions. The challenge is on.

Blessings, y'all.

Good Times

The lovely bride and her dad
JoEllen and Amie
The Brendles and me
Crrrazy girls
Some shots from this weekend's wedding of Joy Horrell (now Joy Allmond. Yep. Allmond, Joy).
I reconnected with some old and dear friends. It was a great time.

30 cont'd

So, the other night I got together with Lainey Pants, Murphacious, Jeneenee and Robaroo for another birthday celebration at Zambra's. I met Rob and Jenee a couple years ago. Holly, a friend from Charlotte, was in town and she Murph and I were walking around downtown. She had to use the facilities and we walked past Izzy's. Of course they had a bathroom, but we were kindly, but firmly informed that in order to use it, we'd have to purchase. And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

I love Rob and Jenee. On top of having the coolest coffee den, they're good people. Honest, real and fun. They are my friends and I'm proud of that. There have been many mornings that I've started out at Izzy's and ended up being late, but haven't cared. I'd rather start my morning out there! I'm a regular and they know my drink. I think this is the first time I've been considered a regular in that they honestly can 99.9% of the time bank on me ordering a Soy Latte. It's great to be known.

Anyway, back to Zambra's. We had a waiter named John, whom we dubbed Jean for the evening. We ate lots of tasty tapas and had lovely wine and even dessert. We scribbled on the tablepaper and laughed a ton. We wore crazy things in our hair. We took lots of photos. We laughed some more.

I'll miss these friends particularly. They've really added to my life in a short period of time.

I'm blessed.

The end.