Drug tests

I hate to admit this, but I was a bit nervous about getting my drug test at Lab Corp today. It's not that I mind peeing in a cup or anything (guys you have it much easier for this type of specimen taking), but this is why i was a it nervous.

I got this great job last week. To comply with conditions of said job, I was to get a drug test within 48 hours of acceptance. So, I scheduled the drug test for Monday morning of this week, but I failed to remember. So, yesterday morning, as I was biting into my 'Everything' bagel that was topped with lots o' poppy seeds, the thought crossed my mind "i wonder if i'd pass....aww CRAP, i forgot the stinkin' drug test!!!" The whole rest of the morning I felt like I'd just declared how incompetent of an employee I would be for my new job. Way to start off, Steph!!! Maybe they'd think I was trying to get the Meth out of my system after a crazy weekend. Whatever. I got an extension, thank the Lord.

So, this morning, I pulled up to Lab Corp, signed in and proceeded to wait 30 minutes. By the way, they really shouldn't make you wait that long if you're going to pee in a cup. I mean, come on people! You tell us to drink A LOT of water before we go only to make us sit there with legs crossed? It's cruel. I amused myself by watching the Zefrank podcast and the ModTV podcast. By the way, I do not like the fall line that Calvin Klein has put out. One word: herringbone.

Finally, the big nurse in white calls my name. She leads me to this room and says that I cannot take a lighter nor a cell phone into the bathroom. Do people light there pee on fire or have people done other strange things with ligther in the bathroom while giving a sample? OR maybe they just want to have a smoke while waiting for the bladder to kick in? Now, the cell phone, what's up with that? "Dude, I need to talk to you. Can you talk me through this?"

I had a lot of water this morning. So, i could have filled many a specimen bottle. I think the nurse thought i couldn't go because i hear her come back into the room and she turns on the faucet thinking that would help me? the truth be told: i was taking so long because i had too much water. TMI? Sorry!

After you've done this deed, they let you wash your hands and then sign off to say that you've actually peed your own pee into this cup.

Anyway, I'm still a bit paranoid that I'll test positive for opiates. Alaina reassured me that I'd have to ingest a heckuvalot of poppy seeds to test positive. We shall see, people, we shall see!