Vie de Fifi

Moving' on Up...or something like that

2008-11-07T07:06:00.001-05:00

I'm now blogging here.

A Prayer

2008-10-15T08:52:00.001-05:00

Someone sent this to me this morning:

Franciscan Prayer

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in the world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen.

Ringing true

2008-10-14T15:20:00.001-05:00

Doesn't this quote seem to ring true?

"The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: ‘From bondage to spiritual faith; From spiritual faith to great courage; From courage to liberty; From liberty to abundance; From abundance to selfishness; From selfishness to apathy; From apathy to dependence; From dependence back into bondage.'”
-Alexander Tyler

WRITE IN!!!

2008-10-14T07:49:00.003-05:00

Okay, I know I'm not the only one who is looking at our current choices for President -- at least the ones the Republicans and Democrats nominated -- and are asking the question, "How about neither?"

Well, did you know you can WRITE IN a candidate?

Check out this Wikipedia Article and get yourself edumacated! haha

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Write-in_vote#President

and how about that Mike Huckabee?

http://www.onlyhuckabee.com/

Check it.

Not the same path

2008-10-14T05:14:00.002-05:00

I'm different than I was 10 years ago. I guess most people can say that. I wonder how it is that some couples get married when they're in their early 20's and stay together. My parents did it. Well, my mom was 21 and my dad was 26, but still.
When I think back to how I handled myself in certain situations, I cringe. My self now hurts for my self then. I was so willing to make other people happy at my expense. This played out in certain relationships that went on way too long. I guess most would say that I totally dodge a bullet and the Lord certainly protected me.

A situation came up recently where I could have easily gone back down that path I was familiar with, but I'm stronger now. I feel like I actually have learned something in 10 years. I won't allow myself to compromise my happiness, emotional well being for someone else's.

To most of you this is probably a bit cryptic. And that's okay. There are those of you who know exactly what I'm writing about and hopefully you will be encouraged and proud of me! It's progress, y'all.

The Lord has healed some hurts from the past and I know there's good stuff in store.

Retreating

2008-10-13T06:08:00.003-05:00

This past weekend, a group of my friends and me escaped to Boone, NC for some time together. The point of the weekend was to share our stories. Our stories all have a common theme: God has been working in our lives. I knew this weekend would be an important one for our group. I knew that we'd grow closer by know where others came from, what struggles they've faced, disappointments they've had, broken relationships they've come out of, etc. But it was really wonderful to hear how the Lord has been working in each of their lives from childhood (in most cases). A lot of us had knowledge of God or had been exposed to God, the church, etc, but it hasn't been until our adult lives that we have gained a real understanding of Him. And even though we've shared parts of our stories with each other before, I think there's been a shift, a trust that's been gained. I hope to see the fruit of this down the road.

In addition to sharing some pretty deep stuff, we also laughed a lot and just enjoyed the beautiful surroundings. Here's a few shots from Boone!

The Election

2008-10-08T06:06:00.003-05:00

This is kind of how I'm feeling about it right now

not my image

Questions

2008-10-06T06:05:00.002-05:00

So I saw a mutual friend posted these questions that John Wesley asked himself every day. They are questions definitely worth asking:

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?
4. Can I be trusted?
5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying or self-justifying?
7. Did the Bible live in me today?
8. Do I give it time to speak to me every day?
9. Am I enjoying prayer?
10. When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?
11. Do I pray about the money I spend?
12. Do I go to bed on time and get up on time?
13. Do I disobey God in anything?
14. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
16. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God that I am not like other people?
20. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard?
21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?

God's Love - it's a jealous kind of love

2008-09-24T10:40:00.002-05:00

here's what I e-mailed my small group this morning. thought it was worth posting here too!

*****

So interestingly enough, at Charlotte One last night, a lot of Stuart Hall's message had to do with God's "jealousy" of us. He even brought in the story of Hosea and Gomer. Coincidence? I think not! (For those of you not at small group on Monday, we had a lot of discussion around how the Holy Spirit "envies intensely" when we give anything in our lives precidence over the Lord. I'm telling you guys, this is the stuff like that makes me keenly aware of the realness of our God. Perhaps this is a message that really needed to be heard a couple of times!

And then that verse from James 4 keeps coming back to me "but He gives MORE grace." (emphasis added by me)

We sang this song last night Oh How He Loves Us which was written by John Mark McMillan. This guy writes some amazing lyrics. Here are the verses.

NOTE THE FIRST LINE!!! Crazy how it went with small group....and then the message last night. Crazy cool in my opinion.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Verse 3:
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen* died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause.. (back to chorus).

*By the way, Stephen was a follower of Christ, an early Christian, who was stoned for his faith.

Thoughts from Sunday

2008-09-22T21:55:00.002-05:00

So Bruce was talking about giving yesterday -- not just about money, but of your time, of yourself. And the motive not being about what it can get you, but more of giving as an outpouring of the passion that God has instilled in you.

A couple of things I jotted down were:

"Until your heart is captivated by gratitude, you will wait." You will just sit around and let life pass you by until you tap into that passion that resides within and it motivates you to act.

"What would be too much?" How much giving is too much? I'll let you ponder that one.

"You've got to get your passion." "You've got to know who you are."

Amen and amen. I'm still processing, but this resonates with me. I'm on the path to discovery...

Vid

2008-09-21T08:27:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm sure you've heard that Travis Barker was in a plane crash. He is an AMAZING drummer. Here....you can see for yourself.

Thirty two

2008-09-19T05:43:00.003-05:00

My birthday week got off to a great start by racing in the SheRox Triathlon up at Latta Plantation early on Sunday morning (and I mean early). I should blog about my race experience in another entry because I have a lot of thoughts about it, but right now I'm basking in my being thirty-two years old. I am no longer just barely in the thirties; I'm solidly in my thirties. Any age with a two at the end sounds so much more substantial.

I'm 32 and I'm just fine. 31 started off with a lot of turmoil - a relationship ending, but quickly started to get better as I got involved with my wonderful small group! I found some new friends as well as continuing to invest in my tried and true friends. I found peace and hope in the midst of some hard family stuff. In April, I launched into training for the triathlon which helped me get to a level of fitness that made me feel so good about myself and what my body could do. I deepened friendships through long bike rides and runs and trips to the pool. I gained confidence. So, thirty-one was good to me. I can only hope thirty-two will be even better!

Yesterday was a great day. I received so many birthday wishes (thanks to Facebook) and received phone calls, got taken out to both lunch AND dinner and I smiled...a lot.

From the previous post, I'm still confident that "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me..."

Meditation

2008-09-13T08:18:00.002-05:00

It's less than 24 hours until race time.

This is what I read this morning and what I'm meditating on:

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and lovingkindness, O Lord, endure forever -- forsake not the works of Your own hands." Psalm 138:8

Seriously?

2008-08-22T05:38:00.003-05:00

Okay, I must hurry and post this entry because I need to be at work early this morning, but I had to get this out there into cyberspace.

Racewalker (not my image)

Since when did Race Walking become an Olympic event? Last night, I was watching the Olympics with some friends and one moment we're watching the USA drop batons (both men and women) and the next moment, we're watching some women walk really, really fast.

I guess the one exciting thing that happens during this event is that if you even look like you're about to jog or both feet come off the pavement just a little bit, some "referee" jumps in your face out of nowhere and flashes a yellow card! I don't know if they say anything or just flash the card, but it's the ONLY entertaining or interesting thing about this event. Oh wait, it is kind of interesting how it seems that the legs of the walkers almost seem doublejointed. And Scott asked the question, "why must they wear the same outfits as marathoners?" Is it really necessary to wear the little bitty bottoms and the sports bra to walk really fast?

The winner, who walked REALLY fast (of course), looked like she was in a great deal of pain as she entered the Bird's Nest last night. And people were cheering awfully loud for her. I repeat, they were cheering REALLY loud for a race walker. Odd, I tell you -- very, very odd. So she finished and then all the other walkers.....you guessed it.....walked really fast to the finish line. It doesn't even SOUND right. UGH.

Okay, enough about the racewalkers.....I need to go get ready for work. And, by the way, I'm going to walk very fast everywhere I go today.

Guess I should post...

2008-08-21T05:53:00.003-05:00

Lots of things swirling around this morning:
1. I had my feelings hurt (stupidly) because I wasn't included in a group September birthday celebration. It is SO dumb, but if any of you know me well, you know how I love birthday celebrations and to think that I was left out of a birthday celebration for September birthdays....
2. It's less than a month until race day for SheRox. My current thought is that I'll do fine in the bike/run portion of the race, but the swim will be where I lose time. I'm swimming after work tonight. Really.
3. I love french press coffee. It is so much richer and flavorful than drip coffeemakers. Try it.
4. Back to training: my run has improved so much. Last night, I was running pretty fast for the whole 5K. It helped to have another woman pacing right with me. She was struggling (so she says) but was too competitive to slow down. Ha!
5. Let it Go, Let it Flow has been taken to an all new level with the additional information from Joy. I obviously need to sharpen my "skills".
6. I have a lot of wonderful friends in my life. Let me be grateful for them.
7. Oh, I'm more blonde than I used to be.

Route for a nice little run (3.33 miles)

2008-07-31T08:05:00.003-05:00

(Just don't do it in the extreme heat like some of us did last night. YUCK.)

http://www.mapmyrun.com/route/us/nc/charlotte/460950188

OH, and
map my run is a great site for all you runners (or aspiring runners) out there!

Happy trails (or pavement)!

Alaina

2008-07-18T13:05:00.002-05:00

Hey Alaina,
Dear friend, if you are reading this, I hope you know that you have friends (me included) that would like to hear from you -- even if it's just to know you're okay. I know a lot has happened in the last 2 years -- some fun times, some bad times...some really bad, but hopefully now it can be left in the past and that your eyes are fixed on a brighter future. We miss you. We love you. Please write soon.
Love,
Fifi

Green Pastures

2008-07-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

Found this song this morning....love it.

	Emmylou Harris, Ricky Skaggs, Dolly Parton - Green Pastures

	Found at skreemr.com

Rear wheels

2008-07-02T05:53:00.002-05:00

So my bike has been in pieces since Saturday. "Why?" you ask. Well, I'm a pro at getting the front wheel on and off, but the back wheel -- not so much. I walk by it every day and it frustrates me that I haven't been able to do this myself. I even tried again Monday morning, but no dice; I end up with grease all over my body every time (both legs, arms and hands).

I am going to ask my friend Michelle to help me tonight. She's coming over to help me pack (the big move across town is this weekend) and see if she will do it. She's a pro and it's her bike that she's letting me use for my training!

Weezer

2008-07-01T06:02:00.001-05:00

I love this band.
I love this song. Enjoy!

	Weezer - Jamie (Live Acoustic B Side)

	Found at skreemr.com

Crazy week

2008-06-30T05:36:00.002-05:00

So this weekend felt like a total loss and one that went by way too quickly. I am moving this weekend -- just across town -- but still, it's a pain to move ANYWHERE. I hate packing. I hate even thinking about packing. UGH.
On top of moving, I am trying to get back up to speed with my tri training. I was on vacation 2 weeks ago and then last week, a couple of days were thrown off due to orientation for my new job up in Raleigh. I planned to get back into it full force this week, but due to packing and moving, I have a feeling I need to lower expectations.

For those of you who read this blog, pray that I can get packed a little at a time this week. I don't have to be out until July 8th, but I'd like to get settled in at the new place this weekend so I can just come back and clean after that.

Oh and the new job is going well. It's fun to be back at a law firm. I know it's going to be a challenge, but I'm up to it. I just pray I can do a good job and that they will be glad they hired me!

Beachness

2008-06-20T07:56:00.004-05:00

Here are some photos from my time here on Hilton Head Island. This is our last day so I plan to take a bunch of photos today!

Getting dropped

2008-06-19T22:41:00.002-05:00

So most of you know that i'm training for a Triathlon Sprint in September. I'm on vacation with my friend the Finks and the Metzls in lovely Hilton Head Island for the week. It's been a challenge to maintain the level of activity and I've definitely felt a bit guilty about this.

The other day while out on a ride (because I did bring my bike with me), I stopped in a bike shop and inquired as to whether they had any group rides. The guy informed me that there are rides every Tuesday and Thursday from the shop. I missed Tuesday but showed up this evening. At first I thought it was going to be me and these two older guys, but we rode a couple miles to a park. We chit chatted a bit and then this flock of cyclists headed our way. There were easily 25 cyclists. I have never ridden in a pack this large, but I was excited to ride.

At the outset, I was hanging with the pack. I thought it was a good pace, but honestly I wanted to ride a bit harder. Oh naievete. It bites you in the ass. We turned down this one road and the pack took off! I wasn't in the far back, but this woman informed me from behind that we were getting ready to get dropped. It took a second to realize that, hmmm, I don't know where I'm riding TO and I'm not entirely sure how to get back!

I see this woman up ahead and I'm gaining on her. Because I'm friendly and I see this as an opportunity to meet new people, I ride up next to her and ask her what the pace is (assuming she has a flight deck of some sort). Well, apparently this woman had a hard time talking and riding at the same time. She loses concentration and heads off the road. I am freaking out at this point. Is she going to fall of her bike or just come to a screeching stop? Have I just put this woman in great peril by asking a stupid question? Is she going to.....?

Well, I look back and call out to ask "are you okay?" but I admit, I don't stick around to find out the answer. I knew she was fine, but I thought she would be pissed. So, I ride hard and I ride fast. I'm not sure I did the right thing, but I had no idea where I was going and I also feared getting cussed out. I realize while I'm typing this that I might, in fact, be a horrible person, but it all happened so fast.

Like I was writing before, I rode hard and fast and found some cyclist riding ahead of me and asked him where I should go. Thankfully he was nice and informed me where the pack had taken off to. I eventually caught up with a few riders and asked how to get back to the shop. This guy wearing an NC State jersey just told me to follow them. So I did follow them. At one point, I felt like they were trying to lose me. I felt like saying, "hello. did i not just tell you that I do NOT know my way around here?" I repeat, "I am NOT from HIlton Head." Jerks. Anyway, after a couple of miles we end up at a bike shop....just not THE bike shop that I started out riding from! UGH. I asked them to kindly point me in the direction of the main road and so they did and I was on my way back to the resort. And I did make it back safe and sound.

I look forward to getting back to the group rides in Charlotte. They seem a lot less dramatic and a lot more fun. Bring the fun, Charlotte. Bring the fun.

UGH

2008-06-06T05:46:00.002-05:00

So I was reading someone's blog this morning and they said how they turn to music when things in life aren't going exactly right. I find I do the same thing. Music seems to transport me out of the current disappointing moments to a place of happiness and where things seem to be all right. My friend Luke, my constant source of all musical goodness turned me on to this group, Minipop. It is sheer pop heaven. I encourage you all to listen. Here's a vid from youtube so you can have just a taste. They're bad ass -- a female drummer AND lead singer. (By the way, a flock of geese just flew overhead -- barely above the treeline and "honked" at me. What does that mean?

And it's almost 7am and I'm supposed to be in the shower getting ready for work, but I'm sitting on my front stoop blogging. Go figure. Oh and it's going to be a hot one today, Charlotte folks. Bloody hot.

A "funny" thing happened in the movie last night...

2008-05-24T07:33:00.004-05:00

If you've ever wondered if you could get yelled at for laughing too much in a comedy, i'm here to tell you the answer is "yes." Last night, my friend Holly and I went to see the movie, Baby Mama (which stars Amy Poehler (show stealer) and Tina Fey). Well, it was a pretty funny movie. There are some scenes that made Holly and I laugh....really hard.

Let me back up for un momento. When we arrived at the theatre, there was hardly anyone there. We chose our seats carefully -- no one sitting directly in front of us and blocking no one's view behind us. Also, I like to not sit directly in front of people because we all know that it's much more fun to watch a movie with your feet propped up on the seat in front of us. Gasp! Yes, I admit it; I do this.

So, we sit down, the previews are just beginning when these two ladies -- one old and one whose age is undiscernable. You know how it is when people are probably younger than you think, but either because they are overweight or are with much older people or are dressed older, they just seem older? Anywhoo...
The ladies sit down DIRECTLY in front of us. The gall. The nerve. Whatever. Holly suggested we scoot down. She's a smart girl and so innovative. So we scooted down a few seats. Ahhh, comfort. My feet immediately go up on the seat in front and all is well with the world.

Now, said old lady is a low, loud talker. She has the gutteral voice of a lifetime smoker and she's not from the South. It's obvious. I am praying that her running commentary during the previews does not extend into the feature presentation. Hoping and praying and wishing and....

There are a lot of one liners in this movie and situational comedy. It's funny, people. Holly and I are near tears at times. Well, I cannot remember which scene it was -- I'm thinking it's the lamaze class scene where the instructor has a speech impediment and instead of "crying" she says "cwying". So, we're laughing....hard. The old lady turns her head around (not quite Exorcist style) and tells us to stop (in effect) that some people want to hear and that we're being very inconsiderate! WTF? It's a comedy. It's supposed to make you laugh a lot. So that made us laugh even harder. People around us were laughing too --and not at the movie. It's hard to recover after that. Now we're sitting there paranoid about laughing for fear of incurring the wrath of the crotchety, SO not fun, old lady. Holly took the opportunity to laugh EXTRA loud at the next available funny scene. I sunk down in to my chair and covered my face with my hoodie.

It took a lot not to say anything to her, but we didn't. It really ticked us off actually, but whatever. We kept laughing and she didn't scold us any more, but I did notice some shaking of the head.

But seriously folks, if you're going to a comedy, please expect laughter and loud laughter. Laughter is good for the soul!

Running

2008-05-20T05:36:00.003-05:00

So my big accomplishment last night was running 5.7 miles! I haven't done that in forever. I know that's not a lot to you distance runners out there, but for me, WOW. It's exciting to see the progress I'm making in just the 2 months or so that I've been stepping up the workouts.

Holly and I met with our triathlon mentor on Sunday afternoon and now it's all the more real. We're doing this and it's going to be great!

I feel strong and healthy and like an athlete again. I like it and I think this is going to be a bit addictive (kind of like that ingredient in the colonel's chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly).

Today

2008-05-17T07:43:00.001-05:00

C.S. Lewis, from A Grief Observed

"... Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels — welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?"

Just the facts

2008-05-14T16:28:00.004-05:00

My friend Amy, one of my oldest friends, tagged me. I'm supposed to write 7 facts about myself.

Here goes:

1. I've had my navel pierced twice.

2. In college, i wore a fake nose ring to test out the look. It took me until April of 2007 to get the real deal only to have it yanked out by my towel while drying my face.

3. I like the way God designed men's knees.

4. I drink a cup of coffee on my way to the Y at 5:30 a.m. before I swim.

5. I cannot stand to have someone use a pumice stone on the bottom of my feet. It is so ticklish, it's painful.

6. I twirl my hair.

7. My freshman college roommate Erin and I thought we were funny enough to write skits for SNL. We contemplated sending in some of our material.

I tag Emily, Marty, Murph and Holly!

Remember Me

2008-05-05T07:51:00.002-05:00

About 2 weeks ago, I asked the Lord to remember me. I was praying in the shower and prayed this prayer with the utmost sincerity. There are days that I feel that He has forgotten my life, forgotten my plight -- simply forgotten me. This morning, after I got back from swimmming at the Y, i opened my devotional and the reading was from Isaiah 49. These are the verses that jumped out at me in light of my prayer 2 weeks ago:

14 But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me,
the Lord has forgotten me."

15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.

He does not forget. He remembers.

SheRox!

2008-04-23T09:16:00.002-05:00

September 14, 2008, I'll be doing this.
I've started the preliminary training. I started running more regularly about a month - 6 weeks ago. I got in the pool about a month ago and I had my first introduction to Charlotte's booty loop. I thought I handled it pretty well for my first real ride. (I should take this moment to give a shout out to Adam for being patient and slowing his pace for me!)
I am excited, scared, and feeling very empowered all at the same time. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have a goal in sight and that feels really good. With my job, I'm not very goal oriented. I'm not one of those people who has a 5 year plan. So this is a true goal to work towards and I will feel very accomplished when I run through the finish line! I am so thankful to have friends in my community who are triathletes and are extremely helpful and encouraging! It's awesome.

DR 2008

2008-04-20T07:44:00.003-05:00

So, about a week ago I returned from my 4 day trip to the Dominican Republic (the "DR"). It was a great trip and just what I needed. I didn't do much except eat, sleep, lay in the sun and lay in the sun some more. Everyone in our group (sans 1) went snorkeling or diving (all at the same time). I thought it fun to float on the surface and follow the divers below. Anyhooo, i thought that traveling with 11 other people might present some issues, but it didn't. The only bad things that happened were that 2 of our guys were late arriving in the DR due to passport issues. They didn't have them when they arrived at the airport. So they had to do some scrambling and ended up having to deal with the US consulate in obtaining new passports!

The weather in the DR was perfect. High 80's with a light breeze. I know I could have done more exploring, but really, I needed the rest. So I am very very thankful for the time I had to do just that. Here are a couple photos from the trip!

Recent music fave

2008-04-06T07:16:00.001-05:00

A friend played Ray Lamontagne for me a few weeks ago and I fell in love with his voice. I don't know about you, but I hear a little Otis influence. Give him a listen.

	Ray LaMontagne - Hold You In My Arms

	Found at skreemr.com

Beloved

2008-03-31T08:53:00.001-05:00

On what is truly a Monday, I needed to read this:

Since Before the Foundations of the World

O Living Flame of Love . . . How gently and how lovingly Thou wakest in my bosom, where alone thou secretly dwellest; And in Thy sweet breathing full of grace and glory how tenderly Thou fillest me with Thy love.

These words, penned by St. John of the Cross in his book Living Flame of Love, capture the heart-cry of every soul for intimacy with God. For this we were created and for this we were rescued from sin and death. In Ephesians, Paul lets us in on a little secret: We’ve been more than noticed. God has pursued us from farther than space and longer ago than time. God has had us in mind since before the Foundations of the World. He loved us before the beginning of time, has come for us, and now calls us to journey toward him, with him, for the consummation of our love.

Who am I, really? The answer to that question is found in the answer to another: What is God’s heart toward me, or, how do I affect him? If God is the Pursuer, the Ageless Romancer, the Lover, then there has to be a Beloved, one who is the Pursued. This is our role in the story.

In the end, all we’ve ever really wanted is to be loved. “Love comes from God,” writes St. John. We don’t have to get God to love us by doing something right—even loving him. “This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” Someone has noticed; someone has taken the initiative. There is nothing we need to do to keep it up, because his love for us is not based on what we’ve done, but who we are: His Beloved. “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me” (Song 7:10).

(The Sacred Romance , 97–98)

So darn cute

2008-03-15T23:01:00.002-05:00

I found this on a friend's blog. Oh the cuteness you can find on Youtube! Check out the change in facial expression when the kid sticks his finger in Charlie's mouth! Classic.

A Little Otis for your Friday

2008-03-14T05:40:00.002-05:00

I'm weary at the end of this week so here's a little advice: Try a little tenderness.

	Otis Redding - Try A Little Tenderness

	Found at skreemr.com

I love some Otis Redding so enjoy one of my fave tracks. If you're not familiar with Otis, you may recall this tune from a scene in Pretty in Pink where Ducky lip syncs this song in the record store. Classic.

Post 200!!

2008-03-14T05:39:00.001-05:00

So, the last post that included one of my fave Weezer tunes was my 200th post! Do I get a prize?

Weezer

2008-03-11T23:12:00.005-05:00

This song immediately takes me back to Wilmington, NC. I remember driving around College Road with my friend John Knox in his Jeep Wrangler with the doors off and blasting this tune. Enjoy this little bit of Weezer goodness.

	Weezer - The World Has Turned and Left Me Here

	Found at skreemr.com

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared.
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face.

2008-03-11T23:12:00.001-05:00

Sunday afternoon recreation

2008-03-09T20:26:00.004-05:00

Josh
Vivian
Molly

This afternoon I spent some fun time with the Finks and the Metzls at Sports Connection in Ballantyne. The highlight was Laser Tag because it was my first time playing....ever. Marty and I had to join up with the red team which was comprised of a bunch of little girls who were party of birthday party. We were battling a bunch of little boys who were there for another birthday party! Good times ensued. I really enjoyed myself. I also enjoyed being "Auntie Steph" to Josh, Molly and Viv. It's fun to have kids in my life here in Charlotte. I pray that i can remain the coolest aunt ever. Ha!

By the way...

2008-03-09T08:27:00.001-05:00

I still like to dance and I've still got some moves.
Ha!

I have a lot to say today

2008-03-06T08:14:00.004-05:00

So bear with me. I'll put it in different posts because the thoughts are all over the place: reflections on Charlotte One, music, spiritual stuff, etc.

I'll start with this:

Last night I was chatting with my friend Lisa who is going through a tough time. I shared some of my current "stuff" and we vowed to pray for each other. This morning, I get to work, sit down and open my e-mail. As I'm scrolling through, a new email pops up from Lisa. Her email included a devotional that is for today, March 6. It is amazing how appropo it is to her life and to mine -- and really to any of us who are waiting on the Lord.

March 6

"Behold I cry out of wrong, but I am not heard. I cry aloud, but there is no judgment." Job 19:7

When God seems indifferent, He is often most concerned. We may imagine that He does not care, when He permits us to pass through affliction, grief, and sorrow. Our prayers may seem to be unheard. The heavens appear to be brass above us. But all the time He is looking down upon us in sympathy and compassion, as to magnify His grace and glorify His name. He is actively engaged on our behalf even when we as yet fail to realize it. What is needed is that we learn not only to wait on Him in faith, but to wait for Him in patience.

"God's no means something better
I can trust Him with my all
The God who formed the universe
Attendeth when I call
And when in love and wisdom
He withholds my heart's request
His no means something better
He will give me what is best

God's wait a while's bring blessings
That His right away's withhold
When He's tried me in the fire
I shall then come forth as gold
Oh, what peace it brings in sorrow
And what comfort fills my breast
Just to know, whate'er His answer
He will give me what is best!

Depression

2008-03-04T09:49:00.003-05:00

So lately I've been interested in learning (or re-learning) about the Great Depression. Since I work in the subprime lending industry, one can't get away from negative thoughts about the economy. I've seen movies that depict what life was like back in the 10 years of the depression, but it's hard to imagine what it was really like. Men in business suits were standing in soup/bread lines. These same men stood in groups early in the morning at employment agencies hoping to get a day's work in to be able to feed their family for that day. How far are we from similar situations? I found this article to be interesting. This author discusses some of the causes of the Great Depression.

I like this song

2008-03-03T10:49:00.002-05:00

This is Yeah! Oh Yeah! by The Magnetic Fields. A beautiful tne with some crazy lyrics. Well, they're dramatic.

For example:

Are you out of love with me?
Are you longing to be free?
Do I drive you up a tree?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
Do I drive you up the wall?
Do you dread every phone call?
Can you not stand me at all?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

From the Inside Out

2008-02-27T10:16:00.002-05:00

Last night I was here. One of the songs we sang at the end is Inside Out. It's originally done by Hillsong -- a church in Australia that puts out a lot of really great praise and worship music. Well, the lyrics to From The Inside Out are worth sharing. You can find the song on iTunes.

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Word to your Mutha

2008-02-25T15:41:00.003-05:00

I am going to have a post each Monday called "Old Skool Monday". I will post a vid of an "old skool" hit that though you might blush a bit while admitting to liking it, you know you do!

So today, let's start with this one:

Food etc.

2008-02-24T14:46:00.003-05:00

1. How do you take your coffee?
light and sweet.

2. What is your restaurant genre of choice? Currently Thai

3. If you had to eat the entire cake, what kind would it have to be? Any cake baked by Marty Metzl.

4. What kind of cook do you consider yourself to be (i.e. gourmet)? I think I'm pretty good at it! Not gourmet, but I usually succeed in my attempt.

5. Eggs for breakfast? Scrambled with black beans and then with salsa, cheese and a tough of sour cream!

6. Are you an adventurous eater? Yes.

7. Would you consider yourself a food snob? I can be. If eating out, I don't like a lot of "chain" restaurants. Like Olive Garden. I don't consider that Italian.

Okay, I tag Emily and Marty! Your turn....

another song i like

2008-02-23T11:13:00.002-05:00

And by the way....

2008-02-23T09:38:00.003-05:00

I successfully baby sat for this young'un last night!
Vivy, you're a star!

Miss Viv

Youngest Beatle

2008-02-23T09:37:00.001-05:00

This is TOO cute.

Intentions

2008-02-21T10:04:00.004-05:00

What are your intentions?

How's that for a broad question? I've been pondering this question since a conversation I had with a male friend recently. It's related to the age old question of "can a man and a woman really be friends?" I really believe it's possible -- only if there is a clear understanding of intentions. I'm more keenly aware of this after my convo with this friend.

It's true, at some point along the way, the convo will have to be had about "what's up between us?" and it's often times not had until too late. Someone has feelings and the other doesn't share the same feelings. So, someone ends up getting hurt. Most of the time, people have no idea how to handle these situations. People can be rude or indifferent.

So what do you do? Do you have the convo right of the gate after meeting someone? Like a kind of a pre-emptive strike thus avoiding any misunderstanding for confusion and risk having overreacted or making assumptions? (That was a ver long, run-on sentence I know.) I don't know the answer. I think it's different for each friendship. It really depends at where a person is in their journey.

I can tell you right now that clear communication is the key. For both people to know and understand the thinking of the other is truly beneficial. Sometimes a person just needs a friend and doesn't want any drama. And sometimes a person cares enough about the heart of the other to have the conversation so that both hearts are properly cared for. Here's the verse that keeps coming back to me:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23.

What a challenge!

This guy/girl friendship thing can be very sticky. I know that I have really good friendships with men, but some of tehm haven't been without confusion and misunderstandings along the way. Sometimes, time has to be taken away or awkward conversations have to take place. But in the end, most of the friendships have become a lot more solid.

I do think that everyone who has a friendship with the opposite sex has, at one time or another, asked themselves, "what if?" The challenge is to keep talking about it as awkward as it may be.

Getting back to intentions: I have to constantly evaluate what my intentions are. God really knows my heart and that it's not my intention to every manipulate a friendship with a guy to work it to my advantage (but sadly i'm sure I have done this).

To end on a positive note, I have had some really incrediblly fun times with my guy friends. Many of them are like brothers to me. They check in on me and want to know what's going on with me. They want to know what the Lord is doing in my life. They want to laugh with me and want me to be able to share my heart with them (as appropriate).

God has truly blessed me with wonderful friendship (both male and female).

So anyway, know your motives. Be aware of your intentions. The challenge is on.

Blessings, y'all.

Timely

2008-02-20T13:00:00.002-05:00

A friend here at work sent this to me today. I love it when the Lord ministers to me through others. He really is pretty good at this being in control thing. This devotion is from the Purpose Driven Life daily devotional.
******

As Quiet As A Child
2008/02/20

I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me. But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD — now and always. (Psalms 131:1b-3 NLT)

Today’s devotional actually comes from my sister, a godly woman and serious prayer warrior. She e-mailed this morning, saying she’d been thinking the peace of God that passes all understanding.

She said she’d spent some time meditating on Psalm 131 –

· Verse 1b – “… I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me ….” We are free to live out our purpose when we relinquish control of the things that don’t belong to us in the first place, such as worry about things over which we have no control, or trying to control something we have no business trying to control.

· Verse 2 – “But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother ….” I trust, even when the outcome seems a long way away. A nursing child wants attention now, but weaned child trusts and is content to wait.

· Verse 3 – “… Put your hope in the LORD — now and always.” We hope in the Lord with confident expectation. In other words, we truly believe he will answer our prayers, that he will respond, that he will get us through. You can declare confidently that the Lord will pave your way and walk with you and keep your feet from stumbling. He’s done it before, and he’ll do it again!

Praise God for his peace! It is through his peace that we can do all things – and endure so much. It is a peace that passes all understanding.

What now?

· Overly concerned – Is your peace undermined because you’re concerned about matters that are not even your responsibility? Or a matter over which you have absolutely no control? Ask God what should be on your "responsibility" list; ask him what items you should remove from your list. Psalm 131:1b – “I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me.”

· Prayer, but delayed gratification – Are you at peace because you have learned to trust God and wait? If not, ask God to reveal what makes you demand an immediate answer from him, and talk to him about what he reveals. Ask God to help you learn to trust him – and to wait. Psalm 131:2 – “But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me.”

· Confident expectation – When you say you hope in the Lord, then really hope in the Lord. Expect him to come through for you – at just the right time in just the right way. Psalm 131:3 – “O Israel, put your hope in the LORD — now and always.”

Knowing Me. Knowing You?

2008-02-20T09:14:00.001-05:00

Oh, these silly email "surveys". I am a sucker for them.

1. What is your occupation? Paralegal
2. What color are your socks right now? No socks (wearing heels)
3. What are you listening to right now? White noise and distant voices (not in my head)
4. What was the last thing that you ate? oatmeal
5. Pet Peeves? People who do not use their turn signal.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Midnight blue
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Jason
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yep
9. How old are you today? 31
10. Favorite drink? Fresh lemonade/iced tea mix
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? College hoops
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Oh yes
13. Pets? no
14. Favorite food? Right now, thai curry
15. Last movie you watched? Ratatouille
16. What do you do to prevent anger? Can you really prevent it?
17. Favorite Day of the year? Thanksgiving and my birthday!
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? Strawberry Shortcake and friends
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Fall
20. Hugs or kisses? Love ‘em both
21. Cherry or Blueberry? I don’t like cherries, but like cherry flavor. Weird.
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? ok
23. Who is most likely to respond? Becca
24. Who is least likely to respond? Any of the guys I sent this to
25. Living arrangements? Me myself and I
26. When was the last time you cried? Hmmm. Sunday.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? Laundry baskets and duffle bags
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest relationship with that you are sending this to? The JoJo
29. The friend you have had the shortest that you are sending this to? ?
30. Favorite smell? Freshly cut grass
31. What inspires you? people who live selflessly
32. What are you afraid of? Snakes and sharks
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburgers!
34. Favorite car you have owned? ’82 Toyota Cressida – first car and it had a sunroof and great radio.
35. Favorite cat breed? No thanks! Highly allergic to cats.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? 5 – only use 2 though.
37. How many years at your current job? 1 1/2
38. Favorite day of the week? Let’s just go with the weekend.
39. How many states have you lived in? 3
40. How many countries have you been to? France, Scotland, England, Australia, Bahamas, Canada, Curacao
41. What was your favorite country? Scotland (the motherland)
42. Today's date and time: 2/20/08 9:02

Eva

2008-02-18T14:40:00.001-05:00

I love this. Her voice is AMAZING.

The Game

2008-02-18T13:42:00.003-05:00

I don't want to play.
This time, I'd like to sit the bench please.

Closer

2008-02-17T21:22:00.006-05:00

I went to church this morning and during the "worship" set, the band played an arrangement that combines "Deliver Me" by David Crowder Band and then "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie. It was beautiful. Something really resonated within me and the lyrics became mine. (Not to mention that Transatlanticsm is a kick arse song musically speaking.)

So, this afternoon I downloaded both songs and put them on my iPod so I could listen to them while I walked. Walks have become something of a refuge for me. I do a lot of thinking and praying during my walks. No other songs made it into the playlist for my walk. I kept backing them up and listening to them over and over. Something was stirring within. While Transatlanticism played in my ears, I found myself wiping tears away and sniffling (hoping other walkers wouldn't notice) and praying to God, "I need you so much closer. So Come on." Here are some of the lyrics from the song:

The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer

So come on, come on
So come on, come on.

I know this song is about a human relationship, but for me the song is easily translated to the relationship to Christ that someof us struggle with from time to time. Those of us who are believers know that every now and again we feel distance in that relationship. I know that my footstep's rhythm to Christ's door are not silenced forevermore and the distance to Him isn't insurmountable, but sometimes the steps towards Him aren't taken enough or even at all.

Interestingly enough, this morning when Bruce was preaching on anger, I found myself thinking that it offered me nothing. I kind of zoned out after awhile. Then this evening while I was walking, I started owning up to some of the anger and frustrations I have about situations in my life. The tears kept flowing. I need to know that he really does bind up the brokenhearted.

So, God, I need you so much closer.

Here are the lyrics from the other much repeated song:

Deliver me out of the sadness
Deliver me from all the madness
Deliver me courage to guide me
Deliver me Your strength inside me

CHORUS:
All of my life
I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like You
Now that You're here
Now that I've found You
I know that You're the One to pull me through

Deliver me loving and caring
Deliver me giving and sharing
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing

Oh, deliver me

Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Deliver me
Come and pull me through
Come pull me through

Enough said.

The night ended by having some good, encouraging conversations with friends. I'm blessed and I do know that He does pull us through the disappointments of life by bringing joy from unexpected places.

Here's a verse that a very good friend put in a card to me last week. Let this reside in your mind and let it penetrate your heart today:

"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Valentine's Dinner

2008-02-15T06:23:00.005-05:00

How did I spend Valentine's night? With my small group! I love my small group. Here are some shots from the evening.

Scott the Host
Michelle the hostess
Apple Cobbler
my valentine's cupcakes

Some cute/funny cards for the day

2008-02-14T09:33:00.003-05:00

www.eggpress.com
www.Meish.org

Chicago

2008-02-13T21:29:00.005-05:00

Not only is it the city of my birth (and therefore very cool), but Chicago is also one of the great bands of the 70's and 80's. Peter Cetera's voice is like butta. So, in honor of Chicago, I give you some photos of Chicago and some vids of a couple of my favorite songs by Chicago. As with ABBA, Chicago has some serious style. :)

If You Leave Me Now

Now here's a photo from a trip I took there in 2006

Chicago Scene in Black and White

And here's another Chicago vid

skyline on river

ABBA

2008-02-10T23:47:00.000-05:00

Who does not love the sweet harmonies of this band? This is probably a lesser known fact about me -- I own ABBA Gold -- the 4 disc set. It is good...so very good.

On top of their vocal talent, they are fashion icons (wink wink).

Videos have sure come a long way since the 70's though. Wow.

I like this song

2008-02-10T23:44:00.000-05:00

Mountain Biking

2008-02-10T23:28:00.000-05:00

I felt outdoorsy yesterday. It's not often I feel this way, but I always welcome it. I feel more like an Ashevillian when I do stuff like mountain biking, camping, hiking, etc.
I spent the weekend hanging with my brother, Blake, who is 15 (almost 16). 16 is how old I was when my parents adopted Blake. That is wild.
Anyway, my folks are in Ireland on vacation with the Hamiltons and so various folks are helping with watching over my brother and to make sure he is safe and sound. Instead of staying up at my parents' house all weekend, I decided to bring him back to Charlotte. So, Saturday, we ventured back down this way. The highlight of the day for me was taking him to the US National Whitewater Center which is just a few minutes down I-85! It is definitely worth the trip if you haven't been there. Here's the link. We rented our bikes and hit the trail. I suggest not renting bikes unless you don't have one. It's a bit pricey. I didn't mind doing it this time because it was a special outing, but I plan on getting my Gary Fisher tuned up for the next time around. Anyway, we hit the Main Trail which is several miles around. I thought the trail would be fairly easy, but wow, it was challenging. I think I'm in pretty good shape, but this tested my limits. I had to get off of my bike a few times and walk it up the hill. My heart rate was definitely up there for awhile. Anyway, my brother did awesome and was having a good time. He didn't like it when people whizzed by though. I guess he felt that he was too good to be passed. Ha! Anyway, it was a good time and definitely has inspired me to get back out there. I'd also like to do the ropes course, the climbing wall and actually go Whitewater rafting at the center. The restaurant there has also gotten great reviews. It's a great way to spend a day -- especially when the weather is as nice as it was yesterday (high 60's).

church

2008-02-10T23:24:00.001-05:00

Today, my brother Blake and I met up with Andy D. and went here

Several comments about today's experience:

1. We received "back stage passes" to enter the service;
2. We were herded to our seats;
3. The music was LOUD -- so loud that i couldn't hear anyone singing except for the band;
4. The pastor, Steven *who is 27 almost 28), is excited about the Lord Jesus Christ and wants to reach Charlotte for him;
5. The band is LOUD (did i mention that?);
6. My brother liked it; and
7. People are impacted by this church gathering.

Cha Cha Slide a la Micky D's

2008-02-10T23:21:00.000-05:00

This commercial cracked me up.....

Cha Cha Slide

Monograms

2008-01-31T22:07:00.000-05:00

I saw something yesterday morning that I never have seen before: monogrammed initials on the back window of an SUV. Yep, this is the South.

Like this, but Scripty in font -- much more preppy.

monogram decal

Without further adieu....

2008-01-31T21:41:00.000-05:00

Single. 31.

So, I've been out of a relationship for about 4 months now. I have been blessed to meet some really cool people lately. And yes, there are several guys in the mix. I've read some books lately that have gotten me to thinking about this guy/girl thing -- one of them being Passion & Purity. Now, ladies, you know how it is when you meet that guy that you think is the bee's knees (why that means great, i really don't know) and your heart is so full and you just feel the need to tell him. Well, this flies in the face of anything Elizabeth Elliot would say. She says to keep it to yourself. Do NOT put it out on the table. Do not force the guy to act/react.

Don't you think that's difficult? I think that, as a result of the fall, we women like to be in control of certain things. (i'm putting a new spin on that verse in Genesis. I think my interpretation is "and her desire will always be for her POTENTIAL husband. hahaha). Well, maybe we don't really like that about ourselves, but we lean that way. I know that I've done this a couple of times. Most recently, I voiced to a guy friend of mine that I sometimes wondered about "us". I got shot down in a blaze of glory. No, it really wasn't that dramatic, (I should note that I did this BEFORE I read the wise words of Elizabeth Elliot.), but he just isn't into me. The funny thing is that this is the 2nd time it had happened to me with this guy. I don't really know what I was thinking and what I thought I would gain from "putting it out there" again, but I did. The one positive thing is that I do feel free from that situation.

One of the biggest revelations that I've had recently is that God is in charge. No really. He is. In matters of the heart, it is the Lord that puts a desire for a person in another person's heart. It's not up to me to "make" a guy love me. It's not my looks, my wit, my jokes, my awesome driving record, my cooking skills or anything like that. The Lord sparks that desire. This takes a lot of pressure off of me. For a long time, I have felt that it's in my control. Not true. And really, thank God. If things were in my control, my life would have taken some possibly strange turns. Anyhooo....

But what does that mean for me? Single, 31, wanting to be a wife and a mom someday. Right now, in this moment, it means that I have the freedom to get to know amazing people and continue to invest in some already deeply rooted friendships. I get to be Auntie Steph to precious Vivian Fink. I get to spend time in groups talking to really cool guys. Maybe one of them will be into me. Maybe not. Not every guy I dig is going to dig me. I know, it's hard to believe. ;)

Another nugget of wisdom that I've heard lately: it only takes one.

So, I'm going to keep on living my life, pouring myself into my friendships and my small group and my family.

Single and 31. It's not over yet. I still have hope!!! And the truth is, I'm kind of excited.

New post coming...promise!

2008-01-29T14:07:00.000-05:00

Friends,
I'm sure you've just about given up on me ever posting anything new, original or thought provoking. Well, don't give up yet. I am going to post soon on the topic of guy/girl friendships -- what I've learned and what I'm learning. Okay, hope that is a nice little teaser for you.
Love you, miss you and all that good stuff!

How many days until Christmas?

2007-12-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is my last chance to have a full day of Christmas shopping. I've put it off far too long and I've been pretty selfish with my time. I don't know what my problem is this year. I just can't seem to motivate. So, I woke up early this morning and I made my list, I've checked it twice....okay not yet, but I will. I'm sure I'm leaving someone out.

My goal today: Shop AND bake AND get a Christmas photo of myself so I can create a Christmas greeting card. Yes, I'm a nerd. I'm hopeful that I'll get it all done. I just need to get going now....

Boyz II Men

2007-12-17T07:53:00.000-05:00

Did you know they're back?
Sweet Monkey!

"Boyz II Men, ABC, BBD - East Coast Family!"

From what I see/hear in the video, it's gonna be good. How can you go wrong recording some sweet Motown hits? Yeah, you can't -- especially if you're Boyz II Men!

I hate traffic!

2007-12-12T05:59:00.001-05:00

So last night I left my doctor's appointment and was supposed to get up to UNCC for an informational sessions on a Meeting & Event Planning program. It took me 10 minutes to get from the office to the place I would get on 485. Well, I was given the wrong direction on 485. Then it took me awhile to find the next exit to get off 485. Once I did that, I got into the wrong turning lane....again. The traffic on that side of town is horrible. People are not kind in letting you in their lane. So, when I realized that I wouldn't be able to get up there to UNCC before 6:30pm, I gave up. I am sad because I think it would have been really helpful to hear about this program.

Anyway, I met up with a friend for some Vietnamese and good conversation. That helped to make me feel somewhat better. Then, I went over to the Finks to get some "cocktail" attire for a party on Saturday. I am so excited that I might get to wear this one dress of Em's. It's gorgeous. I sure hope it fits me.

Today is going to be a better day all the way around. I can feel it.

And now an appropriate poem

2007-12-10T23:12:00.000-05:00

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."

Please God. Let me let go. Give me the strength I need to do it.

I'll get by....

2007-12-10T22:21:00.000-05:00

I'll get by with a little help from my friends.

Honestly, this has been a rough couple of days. I didn't sleep well last night which is weird because it should have been Saturday night I didn't sleep well. Strange.

This is an odd time of my life. Letting go of something that was a huge part of my life for a long time and then wondering what the future is going to hold. Letting go is always my weakest point. Sometimes I hold on much to the detriment of my emotional health. I always want to be nice and not hurt people.

Gosh, I want to believe there's hope for me. I don't mean that in the way it sounds. I just want to believe that there's HOPE. i want to believe that I can hold on to something/someone and not be disappointed.

But in all this drama, I have some amazing friends who are quick to encourage me that better days are ahead. They simply encourage me. I feel like I have my own band of cheerleaders.

I love my friends.

Rock out

2007-11-24T19:38:00.000-05:00

Remember that vid I posted awhile back of the preppy highschoolers doing the "Soulja Boy Crank That"? Well, this is Travis Barker doing a drum remix of that tune. It's pretty amazing.

Name Analyzer

2007-11-09T06:54:00.000-05:00

Name Analyzer

Sublime
Tough
Energetic
Prompt
Happy
Adventurous
Neat
Innocent
Enlightened.

Hmmmmm.

Yoga with a twist....literally

2007-11-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

So, I've been slack about using my YMCA membership for the last couple of months. My excuse is that the weather has been so nice that I wanted to be outdoors. Lately though, it's been getting dark earlier and I haven't felt much like walking in the dark and the cold. So today I ventured over to the Y for "Christian Yoga". I had no idea what to expect. I've only done yoga once before and that was years ago. I really wanted to give this a whirl. Emily did prenatal yoga before Vivian was born and it kind of piqued my interest again.

It was really great. It was challenging physically and spiritually refreshing. She spoke words from Scripture along the way and prayed at the end. I almost cried when it was over. There was such release at the end. Yes, there were cheesy moments, but overall it was really good for my body and my spirit! I'll definitely go back next week.

One more thing: I ran into one of the other women who took the class in the locker room. She said that she couldn't take the religious stuff and that she wouldn't be back. I reminded her that it was promoted as Christian Yoga. She said she knew, but she couldn't take it. I said, "Well, that's too bad."

Kids

2007-11-08T06:41:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've seen this vid before, but I have to post it. It's hilarious.

I heart NYC

2007-11-06T17:03:00.000-05:00

I really love the city.

Some highlights from the trip:

1. Going to Ellis Island on Saturday with my cousins and getting a tour led by Ms. Meaney. I kid you not. That is her name. She was about 5 feet tall and very, shall we say, manly. She also made some of the most dramatic pauses I've ever been witness to. Here's a photo of her in action.

Ms. Meany

2. Central Park. It's simply gourgeous this time of year. We walked around for a couple of hours it seems. We got a couple photos and I got coffee at the Boathouse . It's funny how most of what I've seen of Central Park before is what I've seen in the movies. So, I kept on thinking to myself "Oh, this is the scene where....." I started to say this out loud, but realized quickly that it made me seem like I watch way too many movies.

central park

3. Band of Horses. I can't believe how much I love this band. I can't get enough of songs like The General Specific or The Marry Song or Is There a Ghost? Please check them out here or here
I guess I'd call them alt-country rock. they have a twang, but they can rock it out too. Two bonuses: they recorded their album in Asheville and they live in Mt. Pleasant! Why is this important? I am from Asheville and my family vacations near Mt. Pleasant. Anyway, they do a fantastic job of representing the Drrrrty South.

4. City streets. I love the energy, the life, the buzz of the city streets of NYC.

5. Good friends/family. I saw my cousins Jenny and Matt and then Matt's wife, Nicole. I saw Luke and Monica as well. It was so much fun!

6. Random celebrity sightings. We saw Tina Fey and Seth Myers as they picketed for the Writers Guild.

7. NYPD. I have in hand, a business card of one of New York's finest. He wanted to make sure I had his phone number for my return visit to NYC. How nice. Thank you, Gene. Love ya, mean it.

Losin' their cool....I mean shirts

2007-11-02T05:23:00.000-05:00

Poor guys. How embarassing! Several players from VA Tech lost their
shirts before a game against Georgia Tech! They had to wear GA Tech jerseys!

New Home?

2007-11-02T05:05:00.001-05:00

So I think I might have found a condo here in Charlotte! Yesterday, my realtor Lars and I headed over to a condo during my lunch break. I didn't think much of this place from the outside and neither did Lars. We thought we were going to just look at this place to get a sense of what this particular community had to offer. Well, this place was really cute! It's small, but it's just what I need! It's been updated and it's in an awesome location! For those of you who pray, please pray. So far, I have a lot of peace about this. It's a big commitment and I have been having a hard time making decisions lately. I think this will be a good thing for me.

Positive posting

2007-10-28T20:14:00.000-05:00

I am sorry for the last (and now deleted) negative post. My heart hurts a bit. I feel myself slipping into negativity and that's not me. I'm hopeful. I'm positive. I know better days are ahead.

I'm money.

This clip is rated PG-13 for language.

Vivian Elizabeth Fink

2007-10-24T21:41:00.001-05:00

One of my bestest girl friends, Emily Fink, had a baby last night. Here we are in our first group photo. Everyone together now, "awwww."

Community

2007-10-23T05:21:00.000-05:00

I visited a Community Group last night. After months of visiting this church, I finally made a connection on Sunday and was invited to a Community Group that meets just down the street! Even though most of the people in it are younger than me, I was challenged by a friend to try to get over that and see that it might just be what I need for NOW - not forever. This friend also said they may keep me young! Ha!

Anyway, God is faithful in providing just what I need....again. You'd think by now I'd just expect it, but I'm always kind of surprised. Each little thing like this builds my little faith. I'm growing. :)

Good Times

2007-10-23T05:11:00.000-05:00

The lovely bride and her dad
JoEllen and Amie
The Brendles and me
Crrrazy girls
Some shots from this weekend's wedding of Joy Horrell (now Joy Allmond. Yep. Allmond, Joy).
I reconnected with some old and dear friends. It was a great time.

Mike Huckabee

2007-10-21T14:28:00.000-05:00

This guy is worth paying attention to!

Hi

2007-10-17T05:49:00.000-05:00

So I've been blogging here for the last week. I posted there one last time this morning. So check it out. Now I'll return to Vie de Fifi.....with a vengeance. I'm here to provide amusement, to cause you to think a little more and to just make you laugh. It's how I roll....

Keep checking back!

Another fun video

2007-09-29T18:51:00.000-05:00

God as King

2007-09-23T18:28:00.000-05:00

So, today the sermon was given by Dr. Richard Pratt. He was one of Mark Upton's instructors at seminary. This was one of the most convicting messages I've heard in a long time. I cried as I drove home because I felt so raw and exposed.

Dr. Pratt taught on the portion of Matthew 6 that we commonly know as The Lord's Prayer. It's where Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray. Dr. Pratt drove home the point that we tend to focus on the latter part of the prayer, "Give US our daily bread....forgive US.....deliver US." The part we don't really focus on is the first verses which are "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Dr. Pratt suggested that the way Evangelical Christians view God is skewed quite a bit. He is our Royal King. That's who this prayer should be directed to -- to a Royal King. It's a concept we aren't familiar with -- this notion of being under a King's rule. He said, "Kings are inconvenient." When you live under a king's rule, you don't live for yourself. What the king says, goes. He is the authority. That's just the way it goes.

The thing that really got me (and many things got to me this morning) was when Dr. Pratt said that if your faith is covenient, that if your Christianity just fits perfectly into your life, that God is probably not King of your life. Ouch. Double ouch. He got me. I am afraid that I've become way too comfortable being a Christian here on this earth.

He also suggested that the Lord's prayer also challenges us to change how we view this earth. Heaven is the standard; earth is the goal. If we are to ask that the Lord's will be done on earth as it is in Heaven, that should radically change how we live here. What kind of a legacy do we want to leave as Christians? Do we simply want to make good money, sustain a good job, be kind to others, etc.? Or do we want God's will to be done in our lives and to impact others this side of Heaven? We should do what He says now. We aren't living to escape earth to go float on a cloud and play a harp all day FOREVER. We are to carry the truth of the gospel to others NOW.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Then all these things shall be added unto you.

Easy Like a Sunday Morning

2007-09-23T08:54:00.000-05:00

A couple of months ago, I started visiting a church where their Worship service starts at 10:45am. I get up way before that (usually between 7:30 and 8am). So, I started walking/jogging as soon as I finished my first cup of coffee. I love this time that I have to myself -- well me and the trust iPod. I sometimes listen to sermons I've downloaded or I listen to some Worship music so that my heart gets a head start on the upcoming Worship service. If for some reason I miss this time, I miss it and it makes me a little grumpy! This is my time to enjoy the outdoors, to pray, to hear God speak to me. Anyway, I went on my walk again this morning and I feel refreshed. I am in no hurry and I have time to sit and blog about it before I head out the door for the day!

Dance Craze

2007-09-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

So, my brother Blake said this is all the craze right now (my words, not his). Apparently, this is the dance that is sweeping the nation. For some of us, it was the electric slide or the achy breaky, or the tootsie roll. Now, it's this:

St. Bernard's Project

2007-09-13T06:02:00.000-05:00

I'm doing this. Check out the link to the left entitled Fifi Goes 2 New Orleans!

This is how I feel

2007-09-08T10:47:00.001-05:00

Love is a Battlefield.

Photos

2007-09-06T22:00:00.001-05:00

For those of you who don't visit my flickr site, here are some of my homework/class photos. oh yeah, and if you didn't already know, i love taking photos!!

light

crazy charlotte

A record

2007-09-06T06:01:00.000-05:00

So, my mom would be so proud. I turn 31 in less than 2 weeks and I've hardly talked about it with anyone. Usually I'm all about my birthday. This year feels a little different. I don't feel as "jazzed" about turning 31. It's as if something shifts when you fully enter your 30's. I've definitely felt older, a little more succeptible to health problems, etc.
Anyway...I'm just sayin'...

Problem

2007-09-05T05:40:00.000-05:00

I keep losing the connector cords that connect my camera to my laptop computer. i seriously lose every one I get! Yesterday, I had it in my hand and now it's gone. I have searched my house from top to botttom and even in my car. Dah! It's so frustrating because I have photos to upload from my photography class last night. Maybe I'm too proud of my shots or something. Anyway, hopefully I will find the cord and be able to upload photos once again.

Josh & Molly

2007-09-03T20:31:00.000-05:00

A couple of the cutest siblings I know!

Lovin' Phil

2007-09-03T20:08:00.000-05:00

I downloaded the iTunes essential Phil Collins today. I had forgotten how much I loved Phil until listening to a podcase of This American Life the other day. The title of the show was Breakups. The show focused on this one woman's attempt to write a song in the aftermath of her breakup. Her boyfriend broke up with her and she was devastated. One of the cheesily romantic things they shared was a love for Phil. So, who did this woman consult while attempting to write a song to convey her feelings after the breakup? Phil Collins. After her breakup, she found that his songs were the ones that described her feelings. When her boyfriend broke up with her, she actually quoted Phil. Now, that may be taking it a bit too far, but it was this line from Against All Odds, "You're the only one who really knew me at all." You know, Phil really does know how to write a love song.

So, here's to Phil.

Some of my favorites:

Against All Odds
Easy Lover (with the black Phil)
In Too Deep
Separate Lives (with Vonda Shepard)
In the Air Tonight

Alcatraz

2007-08-22T21:03:00.000-05:00

This is HILARIOUS.

Will I leave my heart in San Francisco?

2007-08-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

That is the question.

I am so excited. This time tomorrow (EST), Steve and I will be in the air somewhere over the western half of the United States and making our way to San Francisco. What am I most excited about? ALCATRAZ. For those of you who have seen So I Married An Axer Murderer, you get part of this. It's such a place of intrigue. Its walls and cells hold so many stories. Some of these stories will be told via the audio tour and I can't wait.

Steve and I are booked on a 48 hour hop on/hop off bus tour. We figured it was the best way to see the city in a limited amount of time! This includes a downtown loop, a Golden Gate loop and then a night loop of the city.

Another thing I'm excited about is the cuisine -- there's so much to choose from out there. Thanks to John Murphy, who lived there for a few years, we will be able to navigate to some of the local hot spots.

I'm also looking to forward to capturing images of this fantastic city with my new camera! A dream of mine would be to have some good enough shots to display in a show of some sort. Steve is really encouraging me in this endeavor and I'm so thankful for that.

So, perhaps I'll leave my heart or part of it. We'll just have to see!

Update

2007-08-19T20:26:00.000-05:00

It was a very busy and emotional weekend. I am tired. While I'm emotionally exhausted, I am so glad I was able to be home with my family during this stressful time. Thanks to all of you who prayed, called, offered encouragement and support. It really means so much to know I have such wonderful friends.

My mom is home resting. She came through the heart cath. without any complications. Her heart is in good shape. They still don't really know what caused her low blood pressure in the first place, but every test came back clear. She was released from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. She was so glad to be able to be back home. Things are okay, but I'm sure she'll have to take it easy the rest of the week.

So anyway, thanks so much friends.

Heavy heart

2007-08-16T11:01:00.000-05:00

My mom is sick. Yesterday she was admitted to the hospital for low blood pressure. The crazy thing is that she has a history of HIGH blood pressure for which she's taken medications for years and years. Apparently she's not been feeling so well the last couple of weeks. She couldn't go to work yesteray and her doctor told her to come in. Well, she did fine on the EKG and the blood tests. She did fine on the CT scan of her chest. They ordered a stress test for this morning and she failed. Her blood pressure skyrocketed. Now, she can't remember why she's even in the hospital. Thankfully she knows my dad, my brother and is aware of current events. I spoke to her briefly and she was terrified. Apparently my dad wasn't together enough to tell her what was going on. So, I told her. I can't explain the feelings I am experiencing. I'll try. I'm scaerd. I'm scared for so many reasons. Some of them are selfish. What would I do wihout my mom? How will this affect me? Then my mind goes to my dad. What would my dad do without my mom? Would he be okay? How would he deal with Blake on his own?
My family suffers so much. My parents hearts have been broken by their children. My mom has been plagued with health issues. My dad has been such a good husband to sit by my mom's bedside time and time again. He adores her. She is his strength. It breaks my heart to be on the phone with him and have the line go silent. I know that he is crying on the other end and cannot find any words to utter.
I don't feel capable of dealing with this. I know God is in control. How can you be a Christian without having that pounded into your subconscious. I have to tell you though, I am having a really hard time sensing His presence -- that He desires good things for me and for my family. It sure looks like we've been cast the short lot. My head hurts from crying. I need to wrap this up. Steve is coming to pick me up so we can drive to Asheville to be support for my dad. Bless him.
Facing the mortality of a parent is a strange thing.

Another Myspace real life encounter

2007-08-12T11:24:00.001-05:00

Friday night, I had fallen asleep on my couch while watching A League of Their Own on TV. Steve was sitting/lying on the floor after just sneaking some semi-sweet morsels that I bought just for him when he comes over. He loves them.
So anyway, my phone makes the sound that it does when a text message comes in. I walk over, pick up my phone and notice it's a NJ area code. I knew it wasn't one person so I texted back, "Moe? Is that you?" Sure enough, it was my friend Monica Navarro. I know her through a mutual friend. She's one of those people that I connected with right away. Anyway, Monica had texted to find out if I was around. She was sitting over at Sir Edmund Haley's, a local pub, with some of her friends from Charlotte. Due to a security breach Friday morning, flights were cancelled. Monica was only supposed to lay over in Charlotte, but she was unable to get a flight out. Thankfully she has friends here. So, Steve (after he finished off some more semi-sweet morsels) and I headed over to meet Monica. It was one of those times where you just pick up and it feels normal to be hanging out with people you've never met before. MySpace has been good to me. This is the 4th time I've met a friend in person after only exchanging online communications. All 4 I now consider friends.
By the way, Monica was stuck here until Sunday evening so we were able to meet up with her again for Indian buffet after church on Sunday. Yay.
Oh and her friends were great too! I look forward to hanging with them again sometime soon!